Archive for September, 2015

Processing and wanting to help when the issues make one feel helpless

September 28th, 2015


Life is hard

One friend was just fired, another is having anxiety attacks, another (or more, probably) is seeing a therapist. Life can be full of challenges. Two local companies are shutting down, going out of business. Two others are merging, and heads are rolling as I type.


On a lighter note, three different sets of guests recently visited and I am processing all these instances and challenges into my thoughts; of course I am having reactions. I’m wondering how I can help – or not.


Helping friends

I can’t help my friends get better, and I can’t give them jobs, even though I want to do both. My reaction is one of compassion and wanting to “fix things”. It is probably part of my personality DNA. The people who recently visited me also have their issues- some job, some health-related. I realized that I couldn’t help them, either. But I wanted to. I did do my best to be a good hostess and feed them and house them in the best way I could. I think they all had fun, and I sure did.

Today I tried to listen to a friend for a while as she processed part of her challenges. I think that helped – just listening. I felt positive about that.


How I can help– in a concrete way

And I really feel pleased about my new (ad)venture with The Alpha Group because my goal is to help SMEs thrive with my Alpha Group- to prevent local businesses from floundering. Instead, I will help them succeed and double their business value. This new prospect is exciting for me. I really am energized about getting up each day and reaching out to local businesses.

The members of my Alpha Group must commit to change regarding their business practices. They realise that you “don’t know what you don’t know” and are open to receiving and sharing new ideas that will help take their business to the next level. They are willing to change their thinking, take action and watch their situations improve. The members adhere to the highest standards. If they want to succeed by taking shortcuts, The Alpha Group is not for them. Finally, members seek transformational change. This is not a networking group; however, they will develop new business relationships and their business will grow.


That is why I am so committed to The Alpha Group. It is one way for me to help my community. This is one place I can make a difference for my local community, and possibly for the economy. I am very happy to be of help.


For more information, email me at or



People Management with DISC

September 22nd, 2015



Trying to figure out how to work with that other person in the room?

Trying to figure out how to sell your idea or product to that person across the table?

Knowing your team, knowing your client, knowing yourself is key for your job.

Knowing how you and the other person ticks can really help reduce conflict, as well.



One of the ways we can learn about ourselves – and others – regarding work and team-work is to look at psychometric tests. DISC is one of those tests. It is not a typical personality test, like the Meyers-Briggs Inventory, but instead a way of looking at how one behaves at work. “DISC is a tool to get to know oneself, others and behavior in interpersonal situations better. The best use of DISC is to learn more about yourself, others and how to deal in situations where interpersonal relationships are involved. Some more specific versions of the DISC assessment will help understand how one person would be likely to react in specific team, management or leadership situations, given her or his DISC style”.[1]


The four basic types are: D= dominance, I= influence, S= steadiness and C= compliance.


Ds are driven, straight-to-the-point, fast, impatient, honest to a fault, anting the bottom-line.


Is are usually outgoing, friendly, energetic, emotional and the life of the party.


Ss not only are steady and dependable, but they nurture. They like to serve and please others.


Cs are perfectionists and expect everyone to follow the rules. They crave order and prefer to do things right and well rather than quickly and perhaps make mistakes.


Tests like this can help you to treat people in a way that makes them more receptive to your ideas and products, when you can “guess” the other person’s type. You can use DISC to develop influential networking relationships, according to Michael Maher in The Seven Levels of Communication. One of the poems in his book is regarding using the DISC to build trust:


SELL like everyone is a D

SMILE like everyone is an I

CARE like everyone is an S

PREPARE like everyone is a C


I would suggest the above poem as a general rule of thumb at work, as we are always selling our ideas, always dealing with bosses, co-workers, and employees.


So, the question to figure out yourself is, “How would your best friend describe you- 1) straight-to-the-point 2) social and outgoing 3) steady and dependable or 4) cautious and perfectly accurate?” You can only choose one. Have fun and tell me how it goes!


My new ad-VENTURE with The Alpha Group International

September 15th, 2015

Last week my eyes were opened to a world of new opportunity, for me, for my clients, for many others. In Bucharest I was trained to be a Regional Director of The Alpha Group (TAG, not the Alpha Course out of Holy Trinity Brompton). So here is an imaginary conversation about TAG, perhaps with you.

TAG logo 3

What is TAG?

According to the founder based in, it is the most effective method of business growth available for SMEs globally. It is, “Peer-to-peer mastermind advisory boards targeted at business owners and managers helping them continue to thrive and to make it to the “next level” wherever that may be for them.“


So who is it for?

SME owners or leaders, one per industry per board, simple as that. If you own or run a hotel, you are the only one allowed on your board so you don’t have to worry about competition. The board members commit themselves to helping the businesses of all board members grow and thus it is a real synergetic concept. Of course one must be open honest and keep all issues in “the board room”.


But I am not an SME owner.

Your clients may be SMEs and would benefit from such an advisory board. Thus, you could gain business value by referring your clients to TAG. Also, you may be interested in becoming a Regional Director (RD) yourself. I am currently recruiting RDs.


Why are you so excited about TAG?

SMEs are the backbone of an economy. In this way I am helping my local businesses, and therefore the local economy, succeed. This makes me very happy, indeed. Also, I am recruiting RDs who can do the same thing in their cities and regions, thus I am helping the general economy. The economy needs every little bit of help it can get, as we all know.


So, I am interested in more information. What is my next step?

Any way you call it, you need to contact me, either at or


Join The Alpha Group, double your business value in three years by motivating and inspiring you in exclusive board meetings; that’s the deal!

Attention and Ease are key to good thinking

September 7th, 2015


Time to Think

I recently re-read Nancy Kline’s More Time to Think and was again struck at how important attention and ease are for clear thinking; people need to be valued for their individuality and feel that they are being valued and both ease and attention make people feel heard. When we really listen to a person with all our attention and we don’t rush the conversation, the person who is thinking can really think well. This is the focus of her Thinking Environment, to help people to think well. Kline says, “The quality of everything human beings do, everything – everything – depends on the quality of the thinking we do first.”


Listen and be Curious, pay real Attention

When listening to one another, we often listen to respond. This is a trap. If we do that, we are not really paying attention to what the speaker is saying. We may just want to push our own agenda.


Instead, we need to be really interested in the person, and what is being said. Really interested, and also very curious. If we do that, the person feels very valued and the person has the time to think through the questions.


Kline says, “If you give Attention of generative quality, born of deep interest in what the person thinks and will say next, they will think better around you than they will if you interrupt them or listen only to reply.” This concept is so very important. Attention makes the person feel affirmed as an intelligent human being. This, in turn makes them feel at ease within themselves, which is also one of the components Kline advocates in her Listening Environment.


There is no rush, create Ease

If there is no rush, if the thinker is feeling listened to, there is a sense of ease, so that the Thinking person doesn’t feel rushed to make a decision. The time to reflect is key in Kline’s theory, as is in many coaching concepts. “If you are at Ease inside yourself, regardless of the degree of (mostly manufactured) urgency and rush outside you, people with think better (and faster) around you than if you are in a hurry yourself.”


Thus by following these two principals, we can help people to think whether we are coaches or not, by honoring the Thinker’s individuality as intelligent thinking human being. This can be done by being really curious about what they are thinking and saying, and by not rushing them in their thinking process, letting them think through the subject, until they have finished. Seems simple, doesn’t it? But don’t be fooled; this is something to learn how to do.


I wish you all a very thoughtful unrushed week.


Patricia Jehle