Rumble and Label those NEGATIVE EMOTIONS

October 27th, 2015 by Patricia Jehle Leave a reply »

Happiness includes “Rumbling with” and “Labeling” your negative emotions

 

We are often taught that emotions are bad or not to be shown, but this is incorrect information. Emotions are part of what makes us human. But we have to know how to deal with them, especially negative emotions. We need to label them and to rumble with them.

 

I was hit last week with some pretty negative emotions. That was after the blog I wrote on being grateful (http://www.jehle-coachingexpat.com/2015/10/22/gratefulness/)

 

Label those negative emotions

 

Name, not blame

 

The article I quoted last week* said that another thing that will help change your emotions is to label them, so here we go: I was hurt, insulted, angry and sad all at once. Wow! I was able to discuss it with a trusted friend (my husband) and to label my emotions. That really helped me at that time. The article says that consciously recognizing your emotions and naming them actually takes the away some of the emotions’ impact. It did for me.

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Don’t stuff them under the chair

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What about you? When you are hit by something and have emotions, what do you do? Stuff them? This will not help. It is likely to backfire and maybe you even blow up later.

Do you vent at the nearest person? Probably also not helpful.

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Rumbling with your emotions

 

Brené Brown says in her book, Rising Strong that we have to rumble with our feelings when something happens.

 

Here are a few of her questions we should ask ourselves:

 

  1. What more do I need to learn and understand about the situation?
  2. What more do I need to learn and understand about the other people in the story?
  3. What more do I need to learn and understand about myself?

 

When I rumbled about my emotions and the situation, I was able to come up with a story that made sense to me about the situation, the other people, and myself and was able to move on. It was a great way to end the week: at peace with myself, and the world, in general. This rumbling helped me to have a really good get-away with my husband in Paris and it also led me to be able to hear and respond to one of the more inspiring talks I have heard in a while.

 

So, what about you? What do you do when things get tough, when you are put out in the proverbial darkness? My suggestion is to name your emotions (label them) and to rumble with them. Sometimes a neutral listening ear is helpful, too.

 

Have a great grateful – and – reflective week!

Patty Jehle

 

You can contact me and find out more about me at jehle-coaching.com or patricia@jehle-coaching.com

 

* http://www.businessinsider.com/a-neuroscience-researcher-reveals-4-rituals-that-will-make-you-a-happier-person-2015-9?IR=T

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