Archive for April, 2016

Resilience and set-backs

April 26th, 2016

Resilience Rumbles

 

What helps a person get up and keep going when something happens that is a set-back, big or small? What makes a person resilient? You’d be surprised. It’s not a “I’ve got it, I can do it. I’m okay. I stuff my feelings and keep going” kind of attitude.

 

Resilient?

Resilient?

 

  • It’s being honest and open about your feelings: vulnerability;
  • It’s being curious where those thoughts and feelings come from and letting yourself go with them for the moment;
  • It’s being compassionate with yourself and with others when you fail;
  • It’s acknowledging those false assumptions and putting a correct ones in it’s place;
  • And it’s learning from this to put new practices in place.

 

Brené Brown calls this the rumble.

Do you want to be a resilient person? Then this is what you need to start doing:

 

Be honest about your emotions

Be honest about what you are thinking and feeing, at least with yourself and those closest to you. Sometimes, we are not very adept at naming and understanding our feelings. If you want some words and degrees of emotions, look here: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/65513369557318299/

 

Emotions are neutral things – one should not call certain ones “negative emotions”. But they do show things about what is going on inside you. They are clues to what is happening inside and how you can change.

 

Get curious about the feelings and thoughts that occur when you have a “facedown experience”

There is something that happened that triggered “old patterns” of response in you, that bring back the worn, over-played stories we tell ourselves about ourselves, others and life. We need to explore this response to figure out what is really going on within ourselves.

 

To do that you

Have to give yourself – and others – some space to be human, some compassion

We are al human. We will make always mistakes and we will never be perfect. In fact, to improve we have to admit our mistakes. What an interesting puzzle! But it is true. When you allow self-compassion and compassion for others to rule your way of dealing with life, you are able to see things more clearly. You are able to change and allow others space for change. We must remember people are really doing the best they can with what tools they have. Really.

 

Watch false assumptions and stories you tell yourself. Don’t judge!

Often we tell ourselves false stories at this point, “I’m a failure!” or “S/He really doesn’t like me.” We assume way too much that is just not true. Some of the best coaching questions go in this direction, focusing on what we are assuming and whether or not it is true or partially true. We often judge ourselves, and others, much too quickly and often falsely, as well. Again, most of us have good intentions most of the time, but we are human.

 

We must put what is true into the place of the false assumptions and move on with those truths

When we live by what we know is true, we can become more resilient and, not only that, we can become more whole. And that is a very good thing.

 

Finally, we have to think about the learning points and put them into practice for “the next time”

When we learn things about ourselves (and others), we need to put those learning points into practice so they are not forgotten. Then those new insights can be applicable for the next facedown experience. We know it is only a matter of time before another failure, another issue, will happen.

What has happened to you recently that you should rumble with? What were you feeling? What were your immediate actions/reactions and what were the stories (assumptions) you were telling yourself? What was really true? How can you live by the truth and not the false assumptions, and move on? What did you learn from the whole experience?

 

Enjoy your rumbling this week!

 

Patricia Jehle

Blog: www.jehle-coaching-expat.com

Website: www.jehle-coaching.com

Email me: patriicia@jehlt-coaching.com

 

Enough!

April 22nd, 2016

Celebrating ENOUGH

 

The Healthy Enough

Ten years ago I was undergoing chemotherapy for breast cancer. It was a rough time, but I am fine, so far. For that I thank God.

 

Four years ago I had a motorcycle accident in Thailand and then was dealing with frozen shoulder and a bone that wouldn’t mend in my upper left arm for about 18 months. It sounds rather out-of-character for me to have been on a motorcycle in Thailand, but that is how one travels there. And until that moment, it had been pretty fun. I have even gotten back on a motorcycle since then- again in N. Thailand, seated behind a trusted friend.

DSCN8018

Every year my allergy season/cold season seems to drag on from January to June. This year I even had pneumonia for the first time in my life. My friend Jim tells me that having pneumonia is what it feels like to have COPD. Well, I am thankful that I don’t have that!

 

Yet, I am functional enough. Aside from being pretty much written off from work during the chemo and being off work right after my motorcycle accident, I have been working even in the midst of being not so well. I have been well enough. Despite the multitude of doctor visits, which still continue to this day, I am able to participate and enjoy my daily life, most of the time.

 

My neighbor says that health is the most important thing, but I would disagree. It is great thing, but good enough health allows me to be a part of my family, social environs, and work just fine. I have a few friends who are quite a bit more (seriously) ill than I at the moment and they know what is most important: family, friends, and being grateful in the moment for the moment.

 

The wealthy Enough

I have a financial planner friend who always counsels people not to spend money on things they can’t afford to impress people they don’t like. How much stuff is enough? Do I really need that 8th pair of work trousers? What about that shirt in blue? I have three other blue shirts. I remember being told in college that one is rich when one can decide on which clothes to wear that day. I don’t know about you, but I am exceedingly rich by that definition, maybe not by “society’s” definition. But I certainly have way enough.

 

The well done enough

Every week I look at my long to do list and prioritize, depending on due dates, on energy levels, and on what I would prefer to do. Every week that to do list gets partially done, but not fully. When is it good enough? When do I have to stop and literally, or figuratively, smell those roses? Most of us, especially those of us who are self-starters, have an incredibly high standard set for ourselves. We need to know when it is good enough, when we can stop and celebrate the things we have done.

 

I live in a culture that idolizes perfectionism. Perhaps you do, too. Yesterday I had to wait at the doctor’s office for about ten minutes. Not so long. But she excused herself at the end of the visit. I said that it was no problem and she responded, “after all we are all only human”. That is more than good enough! Let us celebrate our humanity this weekend by giving ourselves a break! Have a wonderful time being human!

 

Take good care of yourselves, enjoy the weather (at least in Switzerland, I will say, while it lasts), and be grateful for all those good enough things- that are really good, and enough!

 

Patricia Jehle

 

patricia@jehle-coaching.com

blog: www.jehle-coachingexpat.com

website: www.jehle-coaching.com

Learning by doing and reflecting

April 19th, 2016

Everybody has to learn, in fact we all can learn until the very ends of our lives.  We are learning beings.

Today I leaned how to write a press release.  I have been writing most of my life and have even studied journalism in one of my past lives, so I read a few blogs, looked at a few samples and just “went for it”.  It was scary sending it our to editors and websites, but within minutes I had received a positive response from someone.

You have to risk something to get a yes.  We all have to risk something to get ahead and get new things done.

I wrote about the Alpha Group that I led last week and about how positive it went and what I hope to accomplish for the SME owners and CEOs who come.  It was risky to write about it, well, to ask editors to print it.  It was also risky to ask CEOs to come, but the came and they took learning points out of the day and turned them into action plans.

I can hardly wait to see how it all turns out for them with these action plans of theirs.

Now I am reflecting on last week’s meeting and on the take aways for me– and I realise that we all have to reflect on our experiences and learning systematically to bring those new ideas deep into our beings, to almost automatise them.  That time for reflection is key.

This kind of reflection is hard for many of us, deep into the middle of “the process”.  We need to make sure we take that time, or simple solutions might be missed because we “can’t see the forest for the trees”.  We have to take a step back and look at the situation(s) from a different perspective than we normally do.  That’s usually when we find solutions.

That is what happened with a few of us last week when we were in a group of people we normally don’t work with, but who are also in the same arena- the business leader.  We helped each other see the situations we all presented in different lights and solutions were found.

Anyway, that’s all I have to say today, but if you read further, you will find my press release.

Take your risks, learn by doing- and by reflecting!

Have a great week.  Patricia Jehle

patricia@jehle-coaching.com

 

Here’s the press release:

TAG logo 3

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Date: April 17, 2016

 

 

Business Leaders Take Control of their Businesses and Move Forward

First Swiss Alpha Group Meeting April 14th

 

On April 14th, the very first Alpha Group meeting in Switzerland took place in Schlieren, ZH. The participants were able to take away new ideas and action points to put into practice in their businesses immediately after the meeting. Thus, the Alpha Group (TAG) has really arrived in the Zürich and Baden. The TAG program is aiming to assist local businesses to double their profits within two to three years. Patricia Jehle, communications lecturer at the FHNW, veteran skills trainer, and business coach has been appointed as The Alpha Group’s Regional Director for the two areas for English-speaking groups.

 

Patricia stated, “The Alpha Group is part of the global Noble Manhattan group, which has an outstanding track-record of aiding business leaders to achieve significant changes and developments in their businesses. At monthly advisory board meetings, Alpha Group members participate in workshops focusing on key elements of business development covering a wide range of topics, and learn best practice from other business leaders during intensive strategic design sessions.

 

“Members also receive personalized assistance in progressing projects and overcoming problems through ‘mastermind’ sessions. During these sessions, fellow members and business leaders combine their collective wisdom and experience to brainstorm strategies and solutions, and drive their businesses forward. Our members leave these monthly meetings with clear strategies mapped out, and step-by-step implementation plans tailored to their own unique business requirements.

 

Patricia explained, “membership of an Alpha Group is exclusive; each group is limited to just twenty members, and there is a strict ‘no-competition’ policy. No two members operate in the same business sector, ensuring there is no rivalry within the group. This ‘broad-spectrum’ approach to membership also ensures that members bring together the widest possible range of knowledge, skills and experience to assist each other in achieving maximum results.

 

“Membership gives business owners and senior decision makers regular access to their very own external ‘board of advisors’ dedicated to assisting them to fulfill their commercial ambitions, plus access to online resources, and a global network of contacts,” she concluded.

The Alpha Group’s Managing Director, Colin Lindsay, added “The Group aims to assist businesses to double their profits within two to three years. That may seem ambitious, but Noble Manhattan has an established history of members achieving much more than this in many cases.”

 

Patricia is now establishing groups in the Zürich and Baden areas for existing businesses seeking new growth and increased profits. She is inviting local business owners, CEOs, and senior decision makers to attend a one-time introductory meeting for an admission fee of just CHF200.

To book your place, and for further information, contact Patricia at patricia.jehle@the-alpha-group.biz

Details can be found at our website: www.the-alpha-group.biz

###

 

Mastermind Advice

April 12th, 2016

The Advice I received from a Mastermind

 

So, I wrote about a Mastermind and its process last week (https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/materminds-patricia-jehle-christensen?trk=prof-post ) and I would like to tell you the advice I received regarding a new endeavor, as maybe it will pertain to you, too.

 

My favorite piece of advice:

Imagine lots of fun along the way

 

This has helped a lot since the Mastermind. A positove attitude brings a smile to one’s face and you can even hear it on the telephone. Also, you are more positive and as, inc. writes, complaining is really bad for you. http://www.inc.com/jessica-stillman/complaining-rewires-your-brain-for-negativity-science-says.html

 

My most realistic piece of advice:

Remember that there is a high rejection rate (at least 80%)

 

There is a infographic going around the internet about this particular piece of information. I need to remember that my niche is a niche and that the “world” is not going to come to me. So, I need to ask a lot of potential clients to find the right ones. A “no” leads to a “yes” from someone else… eventually. I just have to keep at it. Probably the same is for you.

 

Another helpful and surprising piece of advice:

Combine (balance) the easy with the hard activities

 

This is a great psychological tool—I can reward the hard parts of my job with the pleasant ones. Thus, I get more difficult activities done by combining them with easier or more pleasant activities. What a great trick. I kind of did this in college: for every x number of pages written for a paper, I got to read y number of pages is a novel. You can do this with whatever activities motivate you.

 

Of course, there is a page full of a list of pieces of advice, but I wanted to share these.   I am looking forward to this week and leading a couple of masterminds with clients.

 

Should you be curious about Masterminds and what I am doing with the Alpha Group (.biz), you can write me at patricia@jehle-coaching.com or check out my website: www.jehle-coaching.com

 

Have a great week!

Patricia Jehle

TAG logo 3

Attention (and paying it)

April 5th, 2016

Unknown

Have you been Paying Attention?

 

Sometimes the message comes from every angle- from articles, from friends, from speakers, from books. Everywhere you turn it’s “THERE”. Well, this week that has happened to me, and the message has been: pay attention. So, I am trying to pay attention — to myself, to others, and to my surroundings.

 

The why

The reason you should pay attention is that you see more, you are more aware of things than if you get “caught up in yourself, and your everyday life”. Some people like to call this concentration mindfulness, others call this kind of paying attention a variety of things. But it really doesn’t matter what you call it. It matters that you do it. There are even people who will tell you that business people who do this activity are more successful.

 

For me, this attention has to do with integrating my whole self. We were not meant to compartmentalize ourselves and this activity helps us to integrate our persons, and to help us make wise decisions.

 

Attention to ourselves

First, we need to pay attention to our own selves and our feelings; I especially need to pay attention to my feelings. Some people know immediately what they are feeling but some of us think a lot more, and so we need to pay more attention to our feelings. Some of us need vocabulary for their feelings, here is a pin I have on my Pintrest board that may help with the vocabulary of feelings: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/65513369556690204/

 

Attention to others

Second, there are the others around us who we can pay attention to—for me, that means suspending judgment, and really listening, not prejudging people “so and so always does/is…” It is so important for me to do this. I am working on this and it is not easy! I have (still) been reading Brené Brown and, as she writes in Daring Greatly, that people are doing the best they can. I believe people deserve my full attention, when I am paying attention. Judgment demeans and gets in the way of real communication so I must stop myself and give people the benefit of the doubt.

 

Attention to my surroundings

My surroundings is the third area to pay attention to. I love this part- I am able to pay attention with all my senses to what is around me: the beauty of creation, the food that is being cooked, the sounds of birds in the morning, the smell of freshly dried clothing off the clothesline, the feel of my dog’s soft muzzle. I could go on. This kind of attention often leads to gratitude, which is also a very good thing.

 

The take-away

So, what are you going to pay attention to now, today, this week? How would you like to see your attention giving practices change? You know, paying attention will make you more successful, and a more grateful person.

 

Happy attention paying!

 

Patricia Jehle

www.jehle-coacning.com