Archive for the ‘Leadership’ category

This? That? Something NEW? Decisions!

September 17th, 2018

Decisions start with options

Making a decision?

Most people make hundreds a day, but important ones come less frequesntly.  I want to remind you of one thing before moving on into some nitty-gritty advice about decision-making.  It is always easier to make a decision when you limit your choices, so start there.  The sky may be the limits, but your brain deals better with between two and six options.  The fewer, the better.

Making a BIG Decision, some ideas:

YOU

Take time to think about yourself: what makes you tick, what makes you passionate and what leaves you cold. Would this decision somehow go against the fabric of who you are?  Would it enhance the person you are?  Also, you are given permission to say what you needand what you want.  I write this, because some people have been conditioned to overlook this, and it is always important to take your own needs and wants into consideration.

The environment: my mentors, my co-workers, friends, family, etc…

What would the different people in my life tell me?  Ask them, especially if it is an important decision.  Remember you were not put on this earth alone; use the gifts you have been given in your various relationships to help you decide.

What’s the present environment?  What are the options right now? Later?

What door is open today, at this very moment?  What might be open in three, six, nine and twelve months?  How long am I able or willing to wait to make the decision? Does waiting make a (big) difference?

 

Consider the consequences of your ideas

Evaluate the consequences

  • Do a cost benefit analysis of the options, or simply list the positive and negative results
  • Scale the options
  • Look at the consequences, not just for myself, but for my family, and for my life, long-term
  • What would the consequences be in a year, in three years, in five years, in ten…?
  • Do I have enough time, money, energy, strength with what I have now? What will I have to give up?  What is too much to give up?
  • If I look back on my life at 80 years old, what will I think of the decision, either way?

 

When I decide this or that, what happens in my inner-self?

When I decide Awhat does my gut feel?  How about when I decide Bor C?  Where is my inner peace?  Or if there is equal weight for either choice, try flipping a coin and then do what your gut feeling says (not on whether it’s heads or tails).  In other words, use the coin to find out what you really want, and then do it.  If that doesn’t work, try waiting three days.  Don’t think about it; just be – and then try deciding.  Remember to “watch” your dreams; they may be telling you something, too.

 

This?

First, consider one option… with all those parameters discussed above: you, your environment, the present or waiting… how does it feel?  Where is the energy?  What kind of energy is that?  What might be the consequences?  Can I live with them?

That?

Then, consider another option… with all those parameters discussed above: you, your environment, the present or waiting… how does it feel?  Where is the energy?  What kind of energy is that?  What might be the consequences?  Can I live with them?

Both?

Third, consider both options (together)… with all those parameters discussed above: you, your environment, the present or waiting… how does it feel?  Where is the energy?  What kind of energy is that?  What might be the consequences?  Can I live with them?

Neither?

Fourth, consider not doing anything (neither option) … with all those parameters discussed above: you, your environment, the present or waiting… how does it feel?  Where is the energy?  What kind of energy is that?  What might be the consequences?  Can I live with them?

Something COMPLETELY DIFFERENT?

Finally, consider something completely different… with all those parameters discussed above: you, your environment, the present or waiting… how does it feel?  Where is the energy?  What kind of energy is that?  What might be the consequences?  Can I live with them?

 

Sometimes an example helps:

So you have two job offers– first job A, then job B, then doing both job A and B (people do this, I have more than one job), then neither job (unemployment? at-home parent?).  Finally, consider something different: Going Back to School, Early retirement, etc…

I hope this helps you!  If not, give me a shout!

Patricia Jehle

www.jehle-coaching.com    patricia@jehle-coaching.com

 

 

A Gritty Can-do Attitude

September 3rd, 2018

Are you a quitter?  I bet you aren’t!  But negative assumptions and attitudes can creep into your working life quite easily because negativity is catchy!

When you’re in the flow, you feel like you can do anything

So, have you been thinking any of the following lately:

  • I’m too stressed. Stress is getting me down.
  • There is no way to move forward.
  • I can’t get any new clients, let alone keep the old ones.
  • My products are so-so.
  • I’m so behind (name the company) and so it’s not worth trying to catch up.
  • I can’t do this until I have more (funds, people, etc…)
  • It’s not going to get better until (the economy, my team, or (x) changes.

Of course, there is probably some truth in all of the above, but there are no solutions, when they are put this way.  Your can-do attitudeis lost and negativity sets in like a plague.

You need to change the way you think about these situations- move to a place of self-efficacy; there is always something you can do.  You need a way to feel that you are in control – set some boundaries against helplessness and pessimism.  You don’t want to be a quitter, you want to be one that will find a way!  You can and will find a way!  Research shows that if you believe you will succeed, you will – eventually.

Teams that think of positive ways to deal with problems succeed- the optimists win!

So, first find out what the negative assumption/attitude is (in psychology, you are looking for a cognitive distortion) – write it down. Then examine the evidence to see if it is false, partially true or really totally true (very unlikely, as it may be).  Give yourself the benefit of the doubt when doing this and do not judge yourself too harshly.

Then put the statement into “can-do” language:

  • I’m very stressed and this is hard, but there will be a way through it, when I find it.First, though, I will treat myself to (your favorite nice reward is inserted here) because I have done so well, so far.  Then my plan will be….
  • There seems no way forward, but I’m sure if I sleep on it and ask for help from (mentor or boss or…), there will be a way, somehow.
  • I haven’t been able to get any clients for a while, and some of the present clients show signs of leaving. What are the reasons for this, and how can I change my products or sales to better reach the market and keep people on board?
  • My product is not so-so, but just not as cool sounding as x,so I have to change my product so it is better and at the moment I have to communicate my awesome value proposition to my clients and to the public.
  • I’m behind the competition, so I need to catch up and even surpass them as soon as possible by…
  • Let’s look at how to get (funds, people, etc) by this date so we can go forward as soon as possible; in the meantime, let’s…
  • Even though it’s not an optimal situation, how can I go forward with what I have?

Creativity is a great way of overcoming pessimism

I’m sure you get the point. Work on your thoughts and assumptions, and change them to workable positive assumptions that move you one step forward- not fake a happy-clappy, but gritty can-do attitude.

What’s your next positive assumption – and with that the next smallest step forward?

Have a very successful week!

Patricia Jehle patricia@jehle-coaching.comwww.jehle-coaching.com

Assumptions, true, maybe true, or false?

August 23rd, 2018

We have assumptions about reality

What are you assuming and is it true???

Late in June I wrote a blog on how we believe things that are not true… http://www.jehle-coachingexpat.com/2018/06/26/what-story-are-you-telling/#comment-17912those beliefs are assumptions.

Assumptions that are not true hold us backand often crippleus.  So, what assumptions might these be and how do we change them?  Some of the assumptions may be true (possible), some are probably false (either about yourself or about life, in general).

Here are some assumptions- do you believe any?

Possibly true                                       False (about self)                   False (about life)

Someone else is better at x               I’m stupid                                I must not fail

It will be difficult                                 I can’t handle it                       It’s not possible

I may cry                                              I can’t lead (or x)                     People in power x

 

Let’s look at these assumptions one at a time and see how they are true – or not.

First, someone is better at x.

That’s most likely true, as there is almost always someone better (or worse) than we are at doing something.  So, then the question would be, “So, What?  What’s important about this and how does it affect the issue at hand?” Is this truth worth you stopping?  Most likely, not.  Instead find the reason you are doing x and evaluate its outcome; then find a way through it and keep going.  This little thought process of questioning can work for the other two possibly true assumptions, too.

But how can you tellif it’s true (that’s often obvious, with physical proof, like this: at the moment there is a drought in most of Switzerland.  And how mightit be a possibly true fact?  Then the answer could be yes or no and often has “negative” connotations for you—something that may stop you from making a correct decision.

What about the false-self-truths?

“I am stupid”

How do I know for sure is not true?  Well, the easy answer is, I can’t know for sure.  But I personally choose to believe that we allare 1) good, well-made humans 2) capable of growth and learning and 3) are trying our best.  I choose to think and believe positively about my fellow human beings.  And, usually my assumptions about you are true. Thus, you are not stupid, with help and learning you can handle it and maybe you can learn to lead (it’s a skill, not a character trait).  Coaching helps a lot with these kinds of false assumptions.

What about false-life-assumptions?

According to Nancy Kline in her book, “Time to Think”, she calls these bedrock assumptions- the assumptions you choose to base your life on.  And they may be very false.  Let’s looks at these:

I must not fail-  this is false!  The truth: we learn best from failing.

It’s not possible– this can be a bedrock assumption if you say this a lot (or all) of the time.  If you do, be careful!  If you say it once in a blue moon, then it may be true.  But, as most problems have solutions, these assumptions are most likely false.  You just have to find a way.

People in power think best– false!  Who says so? How can it be proven?  Is this a way of your (or my) giving up responsibility for the issue?  Are there exceptions to this (of course there are!!!)

So, here are some questions for you to consider:

-What are you assuming that is stopping you from doing what you want?  If that assumption is possibly true, then ask:

-If you knew the oppositewould happen, what would that look like? (This is your answer, so it may not be these, but I’ll give it a try: someone else better at x-  so the opposite is: I am an expert at x; it will be difficult- the opposite is: it will be a piece of cake, done in a jiffy; I may cry- the opposite is: I may smile).  Say it aloud, that opposite.

-So then, if you knew you were an expert at x(it’s easily done, you might smile), how would you feel when they asked you to do x?

And what more would you do?

Here are the steps, again:

  • Figure out what kind of assumption it is
  • Look for false assumptions, especially ones that affect your belief system
  • Find the opposite (this is your true answer, and it can be varied, depending on you alone) to the false assumption
  • Ask the what ifquestion: If you knew + your opposite + situation- eg:
    • “you are extremely capable at leading”, how would you feel about leading the project?
  • Ask the question twice or three times to let the answers sink in and to look for further answers

Here are some good questions to ask at the “if you knew” step:

  • If you knew that you colleague respects you, what would you do?
  • If you knew that people from your background think brilliantly, what would you do?
  • If you knew that you can come up with ideas better than the boss, what would you do?
  • If you knew that s/he isn’t judging you, what would you do?
  • And: What would you say, next?  What else would you do?

So, before you get all upset about a situation, thinkabout you assumptions- if they are true, or not.  Then after that, take a positive truthand move from there:  truth-belief-act-feel.  But for now, just work on your assumptions.

Have a great time thinking well.

 

Patricia Jehle

patricia@jehle-coaching.com

www.jehle-coaching.com

From Perfectionism to Success

July 18th, 2018

Beauty is mostly imperfection

A few weeks ago, I went to a meeting where some local women professionals discussed perfectionism and how it affects our lives at work and at home.  Some of us were affected at work, others at home, some both.  Some of us also had perfectionist partners and we talked about how that hurt our relationships and our family life.

It was a great evening of sharing, mostly because we didn’t stop at the negative, but looked for solutions.

Here were some of the solutions we came up with:

  • Set priorities and stick to them, when I’m going “off track”, remind myself of them
  • Ask myself, “What is good enough?”
  • Ask myself, “Who am I trying to please”- because I can only please myself, in reality
  • Remember I am the master of my heart
  • Give myself a pat on the back when I succeed
  • Watch my (negative) self-talk
  • Write it down, be concrete about what I am thinking and feeling
  • Give myself space
    • To be creative
    • To meditate and be mindful
    • To take care of myself to walk my dog

Perfectionism is crippling and no way to live your life or to work, and it’s rampant  

There are many consequences of perfectionism, and it’s almost all negative.  What perfectionism does that’s crippling:

  • You are never good enough, there’s a driveto always be better
  • Others are also never good enough, so relationships are hurt
  • You become anxiousor worrya lot, even having depressionand other psychological problems
  • You overthinkeverything
  • You become indecisive and inactive (you are paralyzed)
  • You avoid new challenges and opportunities for growth
  • You set unrealistic expectationson yourself and all the things you must do well
  • You miss out on the good things in life for all the focus on the bad
  • Your performance is negatively impacted

But we can (and do) change, so this can be fixed.  We can become people who are happier and healthier- and more productive.  What to do that can help change all that:*

  • Embrace yourselfas good enough, as good, as a unique human, worthy of a good life
  • Acknowledge that your perfectionism is hurting you (notice how)
  • Practice self-care and love on yourself as good, and doing it “good enoug, ” too
  • Write down a list of “What bad things will happen when I stop being a perfectionist”
  • Acknowledge that you can change
  • Acknowledge that you want to change
  • Expect that you will make mistakes (we are all human, and learning is made from mistakes)
  • Find ways to base your self-esteem on the internal (who I really am), not the external (performance)
  • Find your first smallest next step (and take it)
  • Set realistic goals
  • Watch out for the work shouldand change it to mayor want to
  • Celebrate and learn from success
  • Forgive yourself and learn from your failures
  • Forgive others their mistakes, too (and help them learn from them)
  • Learn to know the boundaries of your “circle of control” – you can’t control everything!
  • Set up criteria for decisions and stick to them (eg- 5 criteria, and a 4 is ok fr you to do)
  • Get realistic feedback from a trusted person or set of people
  • Watch for perfectionist messages coming towards you from other people, and reject them (let go of old past ones, but could be for therapy)
  • Intentionally make small mistakes (ones that don’t really matter) – to practice how it feels to be imperfect
  • Stop over-thinking with strategies:
    • Seethe overthinking
    • List what you overthink about
    • Note your biased memory – biased towards negative
    • Work on reducing self-criticism, and on adding more self-praise
    • When you are anxious, note if you are self-critical and change it
    • Distract yourself with self-care and other positive activities

*Most of these things are best done with a coach or therapist, as it’s very easy to return to our set ways.  It will take timeand we need to forgive ourselves before we start for the three steps forward, two steps back kind of growth and change it will be.  There will be failure, and incremental progress.  Also, there are some really great books about this, but again, I recommend doing this with someone else walking with you.  It works best.

Get out of Your Own Way and make sure your expectations are realistic

Have a very good enough summer!

Patricia Jehle

patricia@jehle-coaching.com            www.jehle-coaching.com

 

Solutions to our problems?

July 10th, 2018

In light of the recent events, I am going to get a little personal.  A friend once shared on FB that she came across a quote by Richard Rohr, “we are all part of the problem”.  I agree.

People are key to our solutions, especially those different from “us”

We are all part of the problem.

Our world has lots of problems: global warming, war, racism, refugees galore, and economic crises to name a few big ones.  Just read the morning newspaper and we see the mess we have got ourselves into.

It is easy to blame someone or some “thing” else: the government, the other country’s government, that other political party, “those people”, whoever might be.

“It’s not my fault!” is one of the first phrases we learn to say as a child.

But as a parent I know that it really takes more than one party to cause a fight, and that a problem is usually very different from the other person’s viewpoint.

Our problems are very complex, and the systems that cause the problems are also complex.

We can be part of the problem by inaction, complicity, by action or by collusion.

When I am honest with myself I hopefully can see how I could possibly be part of the problem.

But it is hard to get past my own self-defense mechanisms on my own.  This kind of learning only happens if we are willing to subject ourselves to some tough reflection.  Because of this, it is in community that I, that we are most able find out our blind spots and can see where we are part of the problem and then can grow.  I come from a faith tradition that prays to be forgiven for what we have done andfor what we have left undone.  For me, this is key for solving problems: reflection.

Many people are asked to reflect in their coaching relationship, but of course there are other ways to find a reflecting community.  What more could I have done is a question that is of ultimate importance, one that I try and ask myself daily.

Even in coaching this question, I call it the “what more” question is imperative.  “What can I do?” is good, but “What more can I do?” asked a few times often brings a breakthrough.  Then solutions come, then we are part of the solution.

We need to see the big picture, understand the problem and its complexity

We can be part of the solution, if we try, especially in community.

Self-reflection and integrity are keys to the solution.

In community, looking at ourselves and what we can do more is key.  Let’s do it alone – and but also together.

I personally allow myself to be with someone else or be in a group where I am able to become vulnerable.  Then I can acknowledge that I might possibly be part of the problem we are considering at the moment, and I listen to first of all to myself, but also to others, especiallyto those with whom I might disagree.  Then I try and do one small thing to be a part of the solution.

That listening to othersis also very important for the reflection process.  We often only read and listen to opinions and ideas that corroborate our own thoughts, ideas and opinions.  But if we do this, how are we going to grow?

Thus, integrity is also part of our solution.  I need to check out what “those other people” think, feel, believe, need and their reasoning for their actions with an open mind and heart.

My motivations may be pure, but maybe they are not.

Finally, I need to really check my own motivationsfor my thoughts, actions, and inaction.  How much self-serving is going into what I do and don’t do?  I have a friend who once said that when we point a finger at someone else, we are actually point four fingers back at ourselves.  So, I try to be honest with myself, as much as I am able.

These activities and thoughts may not change the world, but I hope they bring each of us closer together and start a conversation that is healthy and helpful.  Let us remember that “they” are human beings, too.  Let us each do one thing today, tomorrow and the next day for our common good.

Patricia Jehle

www.jehle-coaching.com    patricia@jehle-coaching.com

 

Practice Swinging- between states, that is.

July 4th, 2018

So, you want to succeed at something difficult this week?

Learn to and practice your swinging

Find your “happy place” and from that place deal with your problem.  You need to swing.  Research says you should swing between the positive and the negative to succeed.

This baby is in a happy space

This activity is much more than positive thinking or even visualization.  It’s the change of state between positive and negative, it’s practicing it until you are very good at it.  It’s a swing.  You’ve got to learn how to swing back and forth.  Positive to negative and back again – and again.

So, take presentations, for example.

I’m teaching a four-hour course on presenting on Friday and one of our exercises will be just this: the swing.

Here’s how it goes:  you visualize yourself, giving a powerful presentation.  You sand like it, you move like it and you feel yourself breathing calmly, smiling.

And, whoops!  You’ve gotten lost in the middle of the presentation. What to do?  Come from that “happy place” and breathe, remember your one main point, find yourself, breathe, and start from there.  Nobody’s perfect, after all.  And the more you practice the less you will get caught losing your place. As a friend said yesterday, practice prevents slide presentation karaoke (just reading what’s on the slides), and all those “ahs” and “ums”.

Or take a music recital

My son had his first piano recital a few weeks ago.  Practice does help to make perfect, but that swing from anxiety to visualization of the perfect performance, to reality of making a mistake or two in the concert, to swinging back to the happy place and moving on is the key to successfully finishing the piece, especially if you have never played in front of anyone before.

Or maybe you’ve been the recipient of hard news and difficult facts lately.

I have.  I have friends and family who are very ill, maybe you do, too.  And then I went to a museum last week where the exhibit was stolen art, stolen from Jewish families in WWII.  The stories behind the art are very difficultVery tragic.  The recent stories of opportunism regarding children and adults held in the US in prisons run by private companies (earning money off of tragedy) makes me sick.  So, then I move back to my happy place, walking the dog, reading books (and believe me, I am reading a few), and visiting with friends. Work also helps and energies me, whether it’s teaching, coaching or something else.

Get on the swing and try

So, practice your swing and you will become resilient and more successful.  Interested in more, just give me a shout!

Have a great week getting on the swing and practicing your swing,

Patricia Jehle

www.jehle-coaching.com      patricia@jehle-coaching.com

Going to a conference – and self-care

June 12th, 2018

Doing Something for Myself—Enjoying a conference, etc. – and remembering to take off my shoes at the end of the day

what is your idea of self-care?

Sometimes we have to do something for ourselves, like going to the spa, eating chocolate ice cream, or sitting in the sun.  Self-care is rather individual, unique to each person. This past weekend I got to help out some coaches become certified AND I learned a lot in the process and this week I get to attend meetings and moderate a colloquium for a coaching conference because of my work, passions and interests; it is a “me time”, of sorts. I was tired this evening when I returned, but the time and energy were well- spent!

I have been able to focus on my passions:  business coaching, and leadership, meeting people and learning new ideas and concepts.

Here are some of the pearls- up to last night:

The most important time is now

The most significant person is the one in front of me now

The most necessary work is always love

– Meister Eckhart

Presence is the best present

We are all human

Take care of yourself first

 

You must be willing to change to change

 

Get rid of distractions before concentrating

 

Shape your environment to your need

What are you reading and learning?

A positive learning environment is

  • relaxed and alert
  • energized and purposeful
  • free to be honest with myself and others
  • full of respect for myself and others
  • (has) a willingness to contribute and listen to others’ contributions

 

Expectations (and these are key to learning)

I will feel this was worthwhile if I…

(Notes from Saturday and page one of twenty from yesterday’s workshop)

Training is a key to success

What was in it for me:

I got that time to absorb new ideas, meet people of similar passions and interests, and have time to reflect on the whole weekend.  The me-time energized me and now I am not really “back to the grind”, but looking at new horizons.

Absorb new ideas:

Some of the ideas were ones I had heard before, but, as is often the case, I heard a few concepts put differently, or I even learned totally new ideas – then I have to absorb these and try to remember them.  I love learning and so hearing new ideas energizes me.

People who are like-minded:

Meeting people with similar passions, like coaching, business and teaching truly energizes me.  We encourage one another; we feel the energy around us from so much enthusiasm.  I feel at home and I feel empowered by these kinds of meetings.

Taking of my shoes and reflecting on each day:

“Earth’s crammed with heaven,

And every common bush afire with God,

But only he who sees takes off his shoes;

The rest sit round and pluck blackberries.”

Elizabeth Barrett Browning

from Aurora Leigh

It’s not that I have finished reflecting on the time; in fact, I have much more thinking to do.  But those evenings alone began that process and now it must continue for the rest of this and probably next week.

So, what about you?  What are you doing for yourself, to grow, to be encouraged, and when are you going to reflect on those experiences?

Patricia Jehle

www.jehle-coaching.com

patricia@jehle-coaching.com

 

 

Tribalism loses, optimists win

June 5th, 2018

Optimists Win- ALWAYS

People are most important, be thankful about them – and open to them

I don’t mean the naïve ones, but the tough-minded ones.

I recently read an article in the Harvard Business Review, https://hbr.org/2016/03/why-the-future-belongs-to-tough-minded-optimists?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+harvardbusiness+%28HBR.org%29

This article is based on a concept of a famous business leader, John Gardner which is called “tough-minded optimism” – is a blend of creativity in ideas, strong convictions about what works and about doing things for the “common good”,and resilience, especially when it comes to the need for change.  To quote, “The future is not shaped by people who don’t really believe in the future,” Gardner wrote. Rather, “it is created by highly motivated people, by enthusiasts, by men and women who want something very much or believe very much.”

According to Gardner, leaders can have a mix of abilities and qualities, but there is no replacementfor what he calls, “the lift of the spirit and heightened performance that comes from motivation.”  I couldn’t agree more. 

As we go into the month, let us remember the WHYwe are doing things and if it isn’t a good enough why, then, find something better to do.  If you really want to do something well, you need to believe in what you are doing. That gives you motivation of the best kind.

Also, here are a few tips to help you remain optimistic: 

1) Smile more. 

There is research that proves that if your carry your body in a certain way, it can change your mood. Smiling really makes you more positive. Ask Amy Cuddy.

2) Stand like Wonder Woman. 

No joke.  This activity also gives you the positive power and presence you might need today to get out there and “win one for the Gipper”.  Try it—but best perhaps at home or in the bathroom, not in front of those you will be presenting to.

3) Reframe the negative with gratitude.

Being thankful for what you have and what is good is a very good practice.  It actually can change your negativism.

4) Avoid Tribalism, if at all possible.

Now you say, “But finding your tribe is the new thing to do!”  Sort of yes, and yet, no, in the end.

We can, and should, learn and get energy from like-minded people.  And now her comes the big BUT:  We can’t ONLYhang out with and respect people only we like and who are like us.

That’s tribalism at its worst, and for me that’s the main issue with our western world (maybe the whole world?) at the moment.  I thought I was being original until recently I googled tribalism and found that there were tons of people talking about how we have to reach out to other people of all kinds, hear from them and not “other-ize”.  Try googling it.  The first couple of entries are definitions and a wiki, but after two or three entries you only find negative articles – from The Guardian, WIRED, The Atlantic, The New York Times, The Washington Post, The American Conservative, Bloombergand many manymore.

Wow!  I thought I was being original– but I guess not.  It seems tribalism sucks.

GOOD GROWTH

Another friend would put it this way:  only by getting your of your comfort zone will you actually grow.  And thus, staying inside your tribe will keep you from growing, and achieving what you could, if you rub shoulders with people who are different from you.

Finally, I want to leave you with questions that might help you to think about where are you are regarding optimism and tribalism:  How often do you use the word “they” to separate yourself from another group of people? How often do you use “we” with people who are not like you?

I wish you a very optimistic month of growth!

Patricia Jehle

patricia@jehle-coaching.com          www.jehle-coaching.com

What are you reading? What’s on your list?

May 29th, 2018

Summer reading

I have bought a few books lately, and then Brené Brown came out with an amazing nightstand/library post (here: www.brenebrown.com/library/)- so I have work to do over the long summer! I need to read!

Here are just some of my own summer reading suggestions I have for you, if you don’t have your own list ready:

Leadership

  • Integrity by Henry Cloud
  • Boundaries for Leaders by Henry Cloud
  • Strengthening the Soul of yourLeadership by Ruth Haley Barton
  • Tribe of Mentors by Timothy Ferr (an easy read, BTW)

Coaching

  • International Coaching in a Complex World by Starkey, Boyer, and Wilkenfeld
  • The Routledge Companion to International Business Coaching
  • Systemic Coaching and Constellations by John Whittington

Personal Growth

  • The Relationship Cure by John Gottman
  • Presence by Amy Cuddy
  • Stitches by Anne Lamott
  • Getting to Yes with Yourself by William Ury
  • The Gifts of Imperfection
  • I thought it was just Me
  • Daring Greatly
  • Rising Strong
  • Braving the Wildernessall five by Brené Brown

Business (and start-ups)

  • Creativity Inc. by Ed Catmull
  • The Effective Executive by Peter Drucker
  • Sway by Ori and Ram Brafman

Literature and summer fun reading

  • The Valley of Amazement by Amy Tan
  • The House at the Edge of Night by Catherine Banner
  • The Sympathizer by Viet Thanh Nguyen
  • Dragon Bones by Lisa See
  • Snow Flower by Lisa See
  • Ilsa by Madeleine L’Engle
  • The Little Coffee Shop of Kabul by Deborah Rodriguez
  • The Mapmaker’s Children by Sarah McCoy
  • No One Here Except All of Us by Ramona Ausubell

 

And here is on my nightstand of to read at present: 

  • Letters to a Young Poet by Rilke
  • The Pearl Sister by Lucinda Riley
  • More than Miracles by de Shazer
  • Miracle, Solution and System by Sparrer
  • We were Eight Years in Power by Coates

What are you reading?

Have a lovely week,

Patricia Jehle               www.jehle-coaching.com     patricia@jehle-coaching.com

 

 

 

Take off your shoes and pay attention

May 16th, 2018

Time to get away – and reflect

Reflecting

Doing Something for Myself—Enjoying a short break and remembering to take off my shoes at the end of the day and think

Sometimes we have to do something for ourselves, like going to the spa, eating chocolate ice cream, or sitting in the sun.

Self-care is rather individual, unique to each person.  Last weekend I went camping in a VW bus because of the looong Ascension weekend in Switzerland; it was a “we weekend” with my husband and some good “old” friends. I was really tired Sunday night when we returned, but the time, money and energy spent were well- spent on relationships and on fun!

I have my unique set of work and fun passions:  business start-ups and leadership, writing, teaching, meeting with people (“old” friends and gaining new ones) and learning new ideas and concepts.  What are yours?

Now I am taking another short break before a heavy season of correction and meetings, but not in Europe.

What is in it for me:

Friends and family- relationships are key, and we need to care for them. Also, a little “me” time  and downtime is involved, of course.

Taking of my shoes and reflecting on each day:

“Earth’s crammed with heaven,

And every common bush afire with God,

But only he who sees takes off his shoes;

The rest sit round and pluck blackberries.”

Elizabeth Barrett Browning

from Aurora Leigh

Take time to reflect

Each day I try to allow myself the luxury of going “home” and relaxing, taking off my shoes and putting my feet up and reflecting on the day, on the things I’ve heard and seen, and the people I have met, and how all this might all change me and give me new perspectives.  Seeing, as in the poem, brings new perspectives.  I – we all – need to take that time to see.  In the movie I saw on the airplane yesterday (“Lady Bird”), it was said that love and paying attention are basically synonymous.  I can agreed.  Let’s love more.  Let’s pay attention more.  Let’s reflect.

It’s not that I will ever have finished reflecting on my life; in fact, I have much more thinking to do – every day.  But short times in the evenings are a way to begin that process which must continue into the future.

So, what about you?  What are you doing for yourself, to grow, to be encouraged, and when are you going to take off your shoes and reflect on your daily experiences?

Have a great week!

Patricia Jehle

www.jehle-coaching.com

patricia@jehle-coaching.com