Posts Tagged ‘actions’

What Story are You Telling

June 26th, 2018

The story I’m telling myself:

I saw something and felt it was wrong, so instead of accusing, I told my friend this: “The story I’m telling myself* is x.  Is that true?”  I got an answer and that helped clarify some things.  We need to watch how we “believe the truth”.

Truth Believe Act Feel

the way to do it: decide on the truth, believe it, act on it, and let feelings follow

I wish those four words turned into an acronym, but alas, no.

However, even without an acronym, they are a wise way of processing thoughts (which may or may not be truths) and actions.  When I take a truth, such as you are a unique human being of worth, and then decide to believe and act on that truth, my feelings of self-worth should increase.  That is a good process.

This process of checking our thoughts and feelings according to what is true may keep us from inaccurate thoughts and poor choices. More on this another time.

One Truth: We ALL Can Change and Grow

One of the truths about us humans besides our innate worth is our ability to change and learn.  Thus, I can say that I am able to change my habits and learn new healthier ones. This is a truth that I can believe about myself and about the person facing me.   What a liberating thought, and it is completely true!

Believe it!

When I believe that change is part of our human abilities, all sorts of possibilities open up for me, for you, for the person in front of me.  Wow, what would you like to change?  I don’t mean physical appearance and other superficial things.  I mean, would you like to be more organized?  You can be!  Would you like to be a “go-getter”?  Well then, you can be!  Would you like to… the possibilities are enormous.  But you must take that truth, I can change, to heart and really believe it.

Act on it!

Then, take that belief and put it to the test.  Act like it is true.  You have to start moving, trying and trying again.  There is work in change.  It’s not just a mindset, but a way of living.  Thus, to become organized, you have to start organizing and setting up some systems of organization.  It’s not “magic”, it’s thinking and acting in new ways.  It’s learning and changing.  It’s a process.  And you must start somewhere and then move to change.

The feelings will follow.

When I start working on the change I want, the probability of a failure must be accepted.  We all fail and then what happens after the failure is key.  We must look at that failure, and not punish ourselves, but really look at it, reflect on it, learn from it, and take it into consideration for “the next time”. When we feel that it is okay to make mistakes, to fall down and get back into the “ring of life”, we are going to make the change we want.  We who learn from our mistakes are the ones who succeed in the end.

I have to admit that it is easy to write this blog where I am today- in the summer at home. The sun is warm, the air full of fragrant blossoms, and the friend and I are back to “normal”, too.

So, what are you believing (about yourself, or about others) today?

Patricia Jehle

www.jehle-coaching.com     patricia@jehle-coaching.com

*thanks to the wonderful Brené Brown for this tool.  From her vulnerability book, I believe.

Your thoughts count

May 24th, 2016

Think and Act to BE to BECOME

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“Sow a thought, reap an act; sow an act, reap a habit; sow a habit, reap a character; sow a character, reap a destiny.” –Peter Kreeft

 

and

 

“Your beliefs become your thoughts,

Your thoughts become your words,

Your words become your actions,

Your actions become your habits,

Your habits become your values,

Your values become your destiny.” – Mahatma Gandhi

 

The above quotes are true on so many levels: Our hearts somehow know it is true, but recently research in neuroscience has confirmed the statement to be true – and vice versa. Our bodies and minds are so interconnected that the one affects the other.

 

There is even a cognitive triangle that one can work through when something happens to make sure our thoughts remain in sync with what we want. You can email me about this, if you want. The opposite is also true:

 

When we behave certain ways, our emotions and thoughts are affected. For this, we can look at Amy Cuddy’s research. http://amycuddy.com

So, remember to think and act how you want to feel.  First, though, ask yourself some questions:

So, what do you want?

Today how are you going to do/get that?

What are you going to think and do?

What is your plan for the week?

 

Also, here are some pieces of advice for new CEOs (or owners), taken from a blog (and from my own ideas):

 

Do the work, be like the Nike commercial slogan (Act like a CEO)

Ask yourself , your employees and team, and your stakeholders great questions

 

  • What three things do you want me to change?
  • What three things do you want me to protect?
  • What are you worried I might do?
  • What do you want me to do?
  • What else do you want to talk about?

 

Know the whys – why the other ceo left, why they picked you, why you chose the job

Get to know your team on – and off- the job

The same goes for the board

Survey the employees at the beginning of your mandate and then every 6 months or so, the same goes for the board, but only once a year, starting after the second board meeting)

And finally, think and act and move your body like a ceo: dress, habits, work

 

Some thoughts taken from: http://avc.com/2016/04/the-new-boss/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+AVc+%28A+VC%29

 

Remember we are what we think and act like more (even) than what we eat. It’s a chicken and egg kind of conundrum.

 

Fianlly here are some more things you can do, even if you are not a CEO (taken and embellished from here https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/246024 ):

 

Take your happiness from internals

It’s what you want – and you find a way to accomplish it, whether that it is a cake you baked, a room you painted, or some rocks balanced. Make sure you have control over what determines your happiness. This affects everything else.

 

Remember NOT to judge

Judging leads you down the wrong path. Instead ask those why questions and remember everyone is really trying their best with what they have.

 

Only say yes when you WANT to do it

Clear your calendar and list of things that you can say no to. Of course there are work jobs that must be done, but I mean those favors, etc. Delete the things that really drain you.

 

 

Keep to the two-one rule (two ears, one mouth)

Listening is more valuable than speaking. Questions are more valuable than advice. Just saying.

 

When you say something, be sure of it, or sure of your uncertainty

Say things with certainty, or offer your uncertainty in a way that says you are willing to learn. Sincerity is very essential.

 

Choose little victories

Those little vicotries feed into your happiness and self-assurance, making for a subtle, but noticeable change for the positive.

 

Keep your body healthy

We all know this. Start small and do not be too over zealous.

 

 

Don’t ask for attention

Nobody likes attention seekers. Instead:

 

Celebrate others and their victories. It’s FUN.

I was able to do that this past weekend- and I still am glowing with what happened—because of others!

 

Take risks.

When we do this the really exciting things happen! Without risks, there is no change. And…

 

Don’t’ be afraid of making a mistake or being wrong. We are all human.

We really do learn more from mistakes than from accidental successes, anyway.

 

Ask for help.

People are wired to help, and wired to need help, so ask for it. Learn from your experiences and have LOADS of fun along the way!

 

Have a great week full of adventures and learning!

 

Patricia Jehle

 

www.jehle-coaching.com

Should you not yet have done it, and want to, you can ask to join my Linked in group, SMEs Grow Together, here: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/7041402

 

Also, For those of you who want to know about The Alpha Group and how that could help bring your business more value and sales, please sign up for an email here: http://eepurl.com/b0hyEb