Posts Tagged ‘negativity’

Snow causing problems? Or is it others’ negativity?

March 6th, 2018

It’s been very snowy this past week

Sometimes it’s not rain, but snow

Friends of ours tried to get home from Tenerife last week.  What would usually have taken the better part of a day, took over three.  I attended a wonderful writers’ conference last weekend in Geneva, and the Brits had a hard time getting there because of snow.  Is it raining (or snowing) on your parade?  It happens sometimes, and it’s usually not the weather’s fault.  Today I want to address negativity – raining on people’s parades.

Others’ Jealousy and Tantrums- the MEGA of negativity

Sometimes other people rain on our parade.  Those same people may also rain on other people’s parades, too.  Recently I have been noticing this phenomenon in my life, in my friends and neighbors’ lives, and especially in the social media and news.  Jealousy.  Tantrums.  Negativity is rampant.  This kind of “raining” has become prevalent.  I think we, you and I, should put a stop to it, at least as much as we have power over it.

Let’s look at a why for such negativity, and then suggest a way to put up your umbrella in protection, and finally encourage you not to rain on others’ parades.


Jealousy or Insecurity – or both

Maybe you are doing well, maybe you are even doing really great; other people who are not doing as well may want to rain on your parade.  Why? – maybe because of jealousy.  Or perhaps they are feeling so bad that any sort of positive movement or attention given to others makes them angry and resentful.  This kind of negative activity, whether it is talking about you behind your back, trolling, writing about you in the newspaper, or whining about you to the press so someone else writes, is really bad behavior on their part and truly has nothing to do with you – or your success.  It’s really more about them as people.  It is about those people and their attitudes and self-esteem and insecurities.

What to do?  Put up your umbrella!

Time to put up an umbrella of protection against others’ negativity

How do I put up and use my “umbrella” to protect me?  The “rule” Brené Brown uses is this:  only people actually getting out there and trying get ahead with you are allowed to tell you anything, and of those people, only the (very) few you can trust should be taken seriously.

You alone get to make that list of people who are on your side and the others “don’t count” so you don’t have to listen to them.  You can even, like Brené, write down that list and put it in your pocket, briefcase, backpack or handbag.

So, think about those who you are going to put on your list, write it down, and ignore all others.  If you have to, go off-line for a while.  Don’t read the local newspaper, if it helps.  Do whatever you have to do to put up that umbrella and use it until that storm passes.

Finally, make sure you are not raining on others’ parades.  Instead, celebrate with them!

It is important to recognize and celebrate success.  We need to do that for ourselves and friends and family, but why not spread the wealth and celebrate other people’s success, too?  If you practice this piece of advice, you will find yourself celebrating very often, and that is good.  For example, a friend of mine is taking over the family business on April 1st.  I may send him some chocolate as a gift.  Celebrating others’  accomplishments is a bit like being grateful for what you have, yourself.  It puts a positive spin on life.

Why don’t you try celebrating today?  Write a note of congratulations on LinkedIn or facebook.  Call a friend.  Give somebody an “ataboy”!

Let’s move into the future with a more positive outlook for ourselves, for your neighbors, and for the communities we live in.  Celebrate your own success.  Celebrate the success of others.

Patricia Jehle