Posts Tagged ‘stuck’

Stuck? Do what you CAN!

April 2nd, 2018

I have a big coaching test next week and I am reviewing like crazy.

Studying can be stressful

At one point this past week I considered doing something to augment my (already enough) training, but way to last-minute to accomplish well.  But then I remembered a good saying for this instance:

Do what you can, and then turn your focus away from what you can’t.

Get out of Your Own Way and make sure you focus on what you can do

This works for most instances, especially for work.  You can also think about how to work when things seem stuck:

Business or work not going well?  Or maybe you have all your ducks in a row, but something seems to be stopping you?  Is something intangible slowing down your business?  Maybe you have inner some conflicts with yourself that need addressing so you can start moving forward again.

A while ago I read a wonderful book by negotiation expert Professor Dr. William Ury of Harvard Business School called Getting to Yes with Yourself and I found some treasures to help us out of those stuck places in business and in life.

Here’s Ury’s 6-Step Model:

  1. Put yourself in your shoes
  2. Develop your inner BATNA
  3. Reframe your picture
  4. Stay in the Zone
  5. Respect them, even if
  6. Give and Receive

What this means, step-by-step:

  • Put yourself in your own shoes means you need to understand your own feelings and needs before you can go anywhere near the business negotiation/ the other person you are dealing with. Ask yourself questions regarding your feelings and your deepest needs.
  • Develop your inner BATNA refers to the famous Fisher/Ury negotiation concept Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement- what are you going to do if the deal doesn’t work out? In other words for yourself, take care of the deepest needs you have in this (and every) situation, no matter what happens.  You are not a victim, take responsibility for your own needs.
  • Reframe your picture is about how you see the world, and even the universe. See it as working for your and “the” good, and you will not live in the trap of scarcity.  Remember, scarcity leads to decisions made out of fear, which is to be avoided.  Take decisions from a place of trust and abundance instead.
  • Stay in the Zone refers to being in the present, not focusing on the past or future. It means letting go of the past and its problems and freeing yourself from anxiety about the future.  Staying in the zone allows you to succeed.  Hanging on to past regrets and hurts or worrying about tomorrow are not going to help in any way, and in fact, they hinder you from moving forward.  Avoid all those “should” statements. That show you are either judging yourself or someone else, instead ask yourself, “what is the smallest thing I (or someone else) can do now to make a change?”
  • Respect them even if is about how we treat each person with the respect due every human being. I don’t have to approve of the persons actions or beliefs.  I don’t need to like the person.  I just need to make a decision to treat the person with respect.  I also can try and understand the person by “walking in their shoes” and trying to see the issue from their experiences and background.
  • Give and Receive means that the most successful business people are givers and not takers, and that is according to research (Wharton Business School).

When you understand this concept you are very likely to become unstuck and move forward in business, in negotiation, and in life.  There are good questions I as a coach can ask you about each step in Ury’s model to help you along your way to success.

Reboot: take time and think, and then do what you can about the situation

Remember, do what you can (and don’t focus on what you can’t),  and then to get to yes with yourself so you are more likely to move forward in business and in life.

Have a successful week!

Patricia Jehle


Distract yourself!

October 24th, 2016

Distraction as a key to success (ASCDR)


Who ever thought that distraction can help you succeed? But it can!


-For those of you who overthink problems, or obsess about such issues as “technical problems”, distraction can really help

What do you do when you have an overriding problem, such as “the internet is down” that stops you dead in your tracks? Distract yourself and move on. A client of mine had such a problem last week, and with the help of my “distraction tool”, he was able to get a lot done, despite technical issues. Having a to do list helps, but best of all is to stop, say to yourself all will be solved in the end, distract yourself, totally refocus on a different job, and then move to something else on that to-do list.


-For those of you stuck in non-creativity, distraction can become your best friend

When everything you do seems like “blah-blah-blah” and nothing looks fun, energizing or worth doing anymore, distract yourself.  It’s time for a refocus on something completely different that will help you to find your creativity again. In this case, a short walk outside into nature may do the trick, or perhaps a quick look at old photos of fun activities with friends and family, or try a break with a great cup of coffee or tea and a conversation with a friend or colleague. These short distractions may be just the solution you need to move out of your non-creative rut.


-For those of you with the “Law of Jante” in your soul (or who am I to think I can do this), distraction may be the freedom your soul needs to break out, move on, and succeed.

Jante’s Law comes from the north, Scandinavia to be exact, and it runs in my veins, perhaps yours as well. It’s easy to think your idea is not really all that great, to think you are not special, and certainly not special enough to do something great. All these negative thoughts can get you into a dark thinking downward spiral. What do you do? STOP! And distract yourself. Just do it!


So, what’s the process?

A- Become aware: notice the obsessing, the stuck-ness, the negativity -and

S- Say “STOP”! catch yourself and call yourself on it – and

C- Choose your preferred distraction (you can go to my coaching pintrest board for a couple of good pins on self-distraction) – and

D- Distract yourself – and enjoy– and

R- Reboot and try again


The reboot may be you try the same activity again, or you do something totally new. It’s our choice. But you will, either way, be more productive.

No matter what, try and catch yourself, and then distract yourself when things are not going your way with your to-do list. REMEMBER: A-S-C-D-R.

Enjoy your week and your distracting! — and should you want to visit my site: –Or join my group on LinkedIn:

Patricia Jehle